Der Untergang

Curler....An epitome of narcissism in our office is finally taking a ride to nowhere.

The tail cutter has gullibly fallen for the "National role" ballyhoo. Somebody who used to think of himself as a Chanakya will soon be reduced to being the court jester. What happened to all your evil intellect Mr. Curler ? Did you miss a move somewhere ?

Iam a bit dissappointed though. I thought Curler would be a tougher enemy to fight than this. August 14th will be marked in our company's history as a day when they conquered a ten year old disease which was threatening the entire system's existence. I though would like to take 20% credit for all thats happening. Curler , you bastard , this is my gift to you for whatever you did to my closest friend.

And a salute to our Batter Babu for so effortlessly tackling a problem which we thought could never be solved. He is like Khairnar for us. Out on a demolition drive. First it was Kumar and now its Curler. I only hope people like Gunny realise that its safer to be behind the bulldozer than walking in front of it.

Now that Curlers kingdom is crashing, what will happen to his loyal farceurs like KK and Coco. I guess they will need to wait with their tongues out. I for sure will not miss an opportunity now to beat the shit out of them.

Hey Curler, I heard you sold your car too...I can only think of these lines for you at this moment

And all the roads jam up with credit

And there's nothing you can do

It's all just pieces of paper flying away from you

Oh look out world, take a good look

What comes down here

You must learn this lesson fast and learn it well

This ain't no upwardly mobile freeway

Oh no, this is the road

this is the road

This is the road to hell

P.S..I would like to apologise to Chris Rhea for having used his lines for a jerk like Curler..

Der Untergang means "The Downfall"..(for those people taking German tuitions)..

(Un) Shiney Ahuja

He had it all. Good looks, talent, bunch of movies in hand and also a good family. And he gave everything up, just like that. "Was it so difficult for him to get laid. Or was it the recession which drove him to the maid." Awesome, Iam becoming a poet..

He snatched away the nations fury from our boys in blue after their hapless performance. He has also etched a new word in our minds which we wont forget so easily, " In Consensus"..

Whats with the wives nowadays. Anything and everything is pardonable. A Chand ( For those who dont know him, ex-Chief minister of Haryana who changed his name from whatever to Chand). So Mr. Moon the Goon shuttles between his first wife and a hip Fiza ( I think she gets her eyebrows done everyday. Iam noticing. Thanks to my babe pals :) ). And both of them welcome him with open arms.

(Un) Shineys wife still beleives that he was framed. Even after he confessed. Wow. So much for education. Cant you read newspapers ?

As for the Ahuja..I can remember something apt for u..

A restless eye across a weary room
A glazed look and I was on the road to ruin
The music played and played as i whirled without end
No hint, no word her honour to defend
 I will, I will she sighed to my request
And then she tossed her mane while my resolve was put to the test
Then drowned in desire, my souls on fire
I lead the way to the funeral pyre
And without a thought of the consequence
I gave in to my decadence
 One slip, and down the hole i fall
It seems to take no time at all
A momentary lapse of reason
That binds a life for life
A small regret, i won't forget,
There'll be no sleep in here tonight

Getting to know my father !!

My uncle passed away a month back. He was an avid reader. He would read anything and everything. He spent the last 5 years of his life reading. His room unearthed a treasure of books. About 4000 of them. From Ludlums to Karl Marx, JK Rowling to Khalil Gibran. Amidst this treasure was buried a small notebook which has brought an enigma into my life. In this notebook my uncle has penned 20 pages about my father.

I have not had the fortune of seeing my father so i never thought of getting to know about him. By the time i grew up and gained senses, he was not a part of my family's lives and they had got used to live without him. The only time I used to hear about him was when old relatives dropped in and spoke about him. I grew up with a cognizance that my father was partly religious, spoke well and was well travelled. Nothing beyond that.

This notebook has changed that perception in me. The 20 pages contain excerpts of my fathers writings. I got to know that he used to write regularly. About his travels across the world, about the people he met, about his family, about his joys and sorrows. The pieces of writings i found have indicated that he had an impeccable command over english, very clear thoughts and presentations and instances which were a lesson in philosophy and good living to everybody reading them. Obviously i was curious to know where these were taken from and who has the original writings. The answer came as a pleasant surprise. My brother has them in Dubai.

Voila....!! Iam surprised at myself. How could i not even know about all this ? How is it that i never thought of getting to know him.

Well.. My holiday to Dubai has suddenly got exciting. This is one trip Iam looking forward to as i will get to know my father after 34 years......

Outsourced !!

I happened to stumble upon this 2007 movie at the DVD shop yesterday. 

The movie is about a person in Seattle losing his job and being sent to India to train his outsourced successor. It has a story line which has been done a million times over before but the simplicity displayed here in such abundance is sure to win you over. The movie isn’t overtly sweet nor is it down-right gritty & too realistic,  it has just the right balance which makes it acceptable & enjoyable in a laidback manner.

Outsourced is a clever, sweet, and surprisingly hilarious movie that uses lighthearted humor and charm to win over just about anyone in need of a carefree movie experience. The combination of likable characters, modest humor, and a cute love story make for a purely enjoyable romantic comedy.

Enough said...definitely worth a watch..

Dhakkans at work !!!

1. RR alias AD alias Jalal Agha alias Saand..
Takes 3 days to burn a dvd. When confronted, says " What can i do "..
Yes you can do a lot of things. Stand in the reception with your big belly and ogle at Mehbooba.
Giggle at your own sex jokes which nobody else can understand.

2. Gabbar alias APM..

The lap sitter. Doesnt understand basic body language. He beleives in "Perseverance Pays". Also beleives " If she says No, it means a yes". Highly appreciates people in every email. Wishes people 5 times a day even though he sits in the next cubicle.

3. Bandi alias Bipasha alias Rituporno alias Samba..

Sits like a bloody hog all day talking to his bong brethren. Considers himself the ultimate IT whizkid. The Nilekeni of the east. Has this uncanny ability to overhear surrounding conversations while mouthing bong bhasha on the phone. Has all the traits of the sepcies Rodenta.

4. MM alias Dhanno alias Disco Shanti..

Humpstress in heat. Forgets to get her laptop to office. Makes amatory sounds on the phone. Goes on 10 day official tours to Bangkok. Blabbers about trynning and roosters whenever she aint making out on the phone.

5. Volde alias Joker alias Thakur alias Kumar (aka Gaandu, Chutiya, Harami, Madarchodh, Behanchodh etc)..

Can seamlessly be identified with any Gaali you know. A man who suspects everybody and everything. Tinks and Dinks are his only objects of desire.

6. Gattu (Not worth an alias)..

The Dengue Dweller. The Mr. India. Now you see him now you dont. His whereabouts are a mystery which nobody has succeeded in unravelling. He is the blustering bully who habitually badgers smaller people through doors and in meeting rooms.

7. Curler alias Bastard..

The tail cutter. The Tantrik who has this strange resemblance to child molesters. Thrives on gossip. The History sheeter ( Can narrate sheets of office history). Tries to show his manliness by threatening women.

8. KK alias Kaalia..

Curlers sidekick. The guy who is not too keen on a US visit. Bloody Hell, Iam sure you already bought a new undie for the US trip. The unsurpassable dud. A mentally deficient person.

9. Coco alias Spy

He is the Manmada Rasa. The Oily Adonis. Thinks of himself as the Cool dude. Makes his wife send flowers and a card to office with Malayalam translated in english odes written on it.

Shattered Hopes !!!

A corollary to my previous posting : " My boss, a leader in reckoning"..

Rhonda says " Desire whole heartedly what you want and the Universe will conspire to help you get it "..Sorry Rhonda..it didnt work for Mr. Kumar.

Kumar lived in a fantasy for the last 3 months. He enacted every facet of a leader he thought he could be. The threats, the aggression, the politics, the networking. He in fact decided on a successor to the throne he was going to vacate. All his hopes shattered a few days back. An unknown entity in the industry was offered the coveted place.

It was like the Mukhiya of a village in unrest aspiring to be the PM. They say the biggies didnt think he was ready yet.

Behaviours changed overnight. You insulted your successor for his incapability to deliver a simple Elevator pitch. You decide to entertain your old time sub ordinates whom you had harassed for the last 3 months. You flirt with the same Gunny whom you had told to search for another assignment. You talk to me about a trip to Nagarahole and basking on Mary Jane. You discuss massages with jerks like Bandi and Gabbar.

Am I happy or not ? I maybe happy as you used me for all your initial interview presentations and then suddenly decided that a curler is more beneficial to you.
I maybe sad as you will continue to be the Mukhiya for time unknown..

Comfortably Numb

"Hello.

Is there anybody in there? 

Just nod if you can hear me.

Is there anyone home? 

Come on, now.

I hear youre feeling down.

Well I can ease your pain,

Get you on your feet again.

Relax.

I need some information first.

Just the basic facts:

Can you show me where it hurts? 

There is no pain, you are receding.

A distant ships smoke on the horizon.

You are only coming through in waves.

Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin.

When I was a child I had a fever.

My hands felt just like two balloons.

Now I got that feeling once again.

I cant explain, you would not understand.

This is not how I am.

I have become comfortably numb."

Was this what we needed to shake us out of our reverie ? A recession.

A Gunny who had a care a damn attitude cries in office. Is willing to forego her attitude and seek help from lesser mortals like us.

Ex colleagues taunt me for having stuck on for so long. I feel like I have been sitting at the same desk for perpetuity. 

Where has the zeal gone ? Why am i not fighting with myself ? 

This is not how Iam.....or have i become comfortably numb..