Unfortunately life aint easy for people like us who are at the very bottom of the pit. Some tips on surviving our bosses and their mental thinness...
1. Get some facetime with the boss
I can hear the groaning but what i mean is quality face time. Get hold of some gossip on the contours of a bell curve for one kind of boss or the crc error our fault management tool generates when run on a Windows 2003 server environment for another kind of boss.
If you just aren’t that creative, seek help from other coworkers like me..
2. Contribute something to the conversation
Whenever you are in a meeting, add something to the discussion. It doesn’t have to be mindblowingly impressive. Just something to let everyone know you are participating. This is particularly important when your bosses is in the room.(Coco, Coco, Coco). Buy a tennis racquet or get branded as a non interested person if you dont do the above.
BTW.. heard there is a scheme on every dunlop tennis racquet..you get 4 balls free.
3. Don’t say anything stupid
So now you’re contributing. That’s great. Just don’t overdo it. Don’t interrupt when others are speaking, and don’t talk too much. And above all, don’t say anything that makes you look like a moron.(Pitroda, Pitroda, Pitroda).
Think before you speak. Never repeat your statments. If Peter has said it, Repeater need not say it again.
4. Show up early
This one’s realy difficult, especially for 9AM meetings.Why should you get there
early? Because nobody else is going to and it’s an easy way to get good face time as in point no.1.
And if your boss isnt in, make sure to send or reply to an email right when you get there.
At least someone will know you were there early. Bosses will know you care and colleagues will think you care more than they do. If you get a promotion ( dream on), everyone will think you deserve it.
5. Wish everybody
Here’s where some of the salesmanship really takes over. You want people to like you. Even if you really don’t care about them, it will help your career path. Say hello to everyone you see. And say their name. “Good morning, Curler.”"Good morning KK". "Good morning Gabbar"...aaargghhh. I take back my words. Do it to selective people who really matter.
Bat your eyelids while saying hello , gives a personal touch. Need tuitions from Gunny..
6. Laugh, but not too much
This is the next step in getting to know your coworkers. When you’re in the pantry, joke around a little. Laugh and have fun. But always cut it short. Any more than a minute or two and you’re goofing off. Unless you want a Gabbar sitting on your lap or licking ur fingers dry.
And never share jokes and laugh with people of the other tribe in meetings. You will be accused of sharing savithabhabhi photos from your mobile.
7. Dress well
Dress better than your peers. This is very easy for some of us.
The cliche is to dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Great idea, but you don’t necessarily have to wear a suit or a brown blazer to work for your boss to think you have leadership potential.(Peter / Repeater, Peter / Repeater, Peter / Repeater). Just make an effort to look different and its really easy.
8. Walk fast and carry something
Walk at Mach 3 when you are passing by your boss's cabin..So even if he calls out your name you are far far away. Always carry something in your hand. Like a notepad or a paper. Never be seen around your boss's cabin with a pack of cigarettes and a Zippo in your hand. A review on customer satisfaction surveys is destined for you.
9. Send emails during off hours
I’m not suggesting you pretend to be a hard worker. Think of it as a mail replying competition with your boss, See who holds on for long.
The winner gets to walk with a swagger and an arrogant frown on his face the next day at office. Blood red eyes are a common side effect as the competition normally ends at 3 AM.
10. Tell them what you want
So now you’re making a good impression. You’re an intelligent hard worker who goes above and beyond. You are no more a tennis player and you are no more being shown how close the doors are.
Now its time to tell the bosses what you want. Schedule a 30 minute meeting with your superior to discuss you career path and your goals.
There could be two outcomes of this discussion.
A sudden drift in yourself to commit suicide by banging your head against the glass panes covering their tables or an insane rage to destroy all living beings on earth.
Relax...get back to your seat...starting working on point 1 again..
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