Saturday, January 9, 2010

A Frustrated Nation

Once upon a time ( as close as a decade back), scandals such as the Bofors, match fixing or the kidney racket used to shock us. How could all this happen in our country ? The newspapers used to leave us with a feeling of being cheated.
A decade later, India has emerged as a land of perverts. Scandals of an earlier time are now passe, cursory and demure. We have emerged as a nation out to prove its prurience. After all, we wrote the Kamasutra. So we need to be known for our libidos. So what if they are satisfied in a treacherous way.

Delhi, is now known as the rape capital. A few hundred people molest two girls on a new year eve at Mumbai. A bunch of fundamentalist rogues thrash girls in public at Mangalore. Kerala's sordid sex sagas never end. Goa is the land of sun, sea and sleaze.

Some of these scandals really stand apart not only for their gory nature but also because of the sheer negligence shown by the Indian judicial system in punishing the offenders.

- A paedophile and a lunatic team up in Nithari to go on a long cycle of rapes and murders. Around 30 skeletons were unearthed from their backyard. The lunatic is in jail and will remain there for ever and the paedophile could be out very soon. Nobody hanged....

-A recent article in a newspaper highlighted the plight of a nurse who was strangled during a rape and has lived for about 30 years as a vegetable in the hospital. The accused works in a different hospital and has escaped conviction.

-A Director General of Police molests a 15 year old girl and drives her to suicide. Case closed. No conviction.

We could write a big fat book on all the sexual atrocities commited in our country for the last 4-5 years. Politicians, Film stars ( Shiney Whiney), Policemen, Priests etc etc. These people have put the common crook to shame.

Lets move to the latest one. Mr. ND Tiwari. 86 years old and with 3 women at one time.
Awesome ! ! He is the brand ambassador for a frustrated nation called India. His virility could put Viagra to shame...

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Frank Zappa - Weird

Have been reading quite a bit about Frank Zappa. It is amazing that a weird character like him had attained the status of a Rock cult. His music was widely admired by millions of people. He was in a true sense the complete Rock Legend of the 70's and the 80's.
What people liked about him is still a mystery. He stood out in a time when there were icons such as Pink Floyd, Jim Morrison, Eagles etc. His foul and funny lyrics were consciously crass, earning him cult status though at times masking the complexity of his compositions. Of all the qualities that typified Frank Zappa, perhaps the most striking is that he was a paradox.

Some weird facts that i came across about Frank Zappa.

- Frank Zappa had four children. Their names demonstrate Zappa's devotion to eccentricity. The children are named Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Rodan, and Diva.

- A famous Zappa quote "Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe".

- A surprising number of things have been named after Frank Zappa, including two asteroids:
3834 Zappafrank, and 16745 Zappa. Also in the list is the ZapA gene of a microbe that causes infections of the urinary tract, a goby fish, a jellyfish, and extinct mollusk, and a spider, which is said to have a marking that resembles Zappa's famous moustache.

Some strange lyrics -

Hey! do you know what you are?
Youre an asshole! an asshole!
Some of you might not agree
Cause you probably likes a lot of misery
But think a while and you will see...
Broken hearts are for assholes
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole?
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole too?
Whatcha gonna do, cause you're an asshole...

Why does it hurt when I pee?
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I don't want no doctor
To stick no needle in me
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I got it from the toilet seat
I got it from the toilet seat
It jumped right up
N grabbed my meat
Got it from the toilet seat
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Oh God I probably got the
Gon-o-ka-ka-khackus!
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Ai-ee-ai-ee-ahhhh!
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it hurt...when i
Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?




Saturday, September 5, 2009

The Shawshank Redemption

I thought of myself as a movie fanatic but am surprised that i missed this particular one for fifteen years.

Based on Stephen King's short novel "Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption", this movie is brilliant storytelling through and through, with a depth in thematic imagery and symbolism, it transcends being just another prison film. It lets us know that even amid the most trying of circumstances, hope should never be extinguished.

When I first started watching this movie, it was like, oh great, a slow movie about prison life.

Somewhere along the way, I forgot I was watching a movie, and became so engrossed in it, that I felt like I was in the film, a part of it. The movie is absolutely riveting, the narration is incredible, and the story...wow, what a story. Put that together with a great cast, awesome soundtrack, and one of the best endings of all time, and you have a timeless classic. Simply wonderful!!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Der Untergang

Curler....An epitome of narcissism in our office is finally taking a ride to nowhere.
The tail cutter has gullibly fallen for the "National role" ballyhoo. Somebody who used to think of himself as a Chanakya will soon be reduced to being the court jester. What happened to all your evil intellect Mr. Curler ? Did you miss a move somewhere ?

Iam a bit dissappointed though. I thought Curler would be a tougher enemy to fight than this. August 14th will be marked in our company's history as a day when they conquered a ten year old disease which was threatening the entire system's existence. I though would like to take 20% credit for all thats happening. Curler , you bastard , this is my gift to you for whatever you did to my closest friend.

And a salute to our Batter Babu for so effortlessly tackling a problem which we thought could never be solved. He is like Khairnar for us. Out on a demolition drive. First it was Kumar and now its Curler. I only hope people like Gunny realise that its safer to be behind the bulldozer than walking in front of it.

Now that Curlers kingdom is crashing, what will happen to his loyal farceurs like KK and Coco. I guess they will need to wait with their tongues out. I for sure will not miss an opportunity now to beat the shit out of them.

Hey Curler, I heard you sold your car too...I can only think of these lines for you at this moment

And all the roads jam up with credit
And there's nothing you can do
It's all just pieces of paper flying away from you
Oh look out world, take a good look
What comes down here
You must learn this lesson fast and learn it well
This ain't no upwardly mobile freeway
Oh no, this is the road
this is the road
This is the road to hell

P.S..I would like to apologise to Chris Rhea for having used his lines for a jerk like Curler..
Der Untergang means "The Downfall"..(for those people taking German tuitions)..

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

(Un) Shiney Ahuja

He had it all. Good looks, talent, bunch of movies in hand and also a good family. And he gave everything up, just like that. "Was it so difficult for him to get laid. Or was it the recession which drove him to the maid." Awesome, Iam becoming a poet..

He snatched away the nations fury from our boys in blue after their hapless performance. He has also etched a new word in our minds which we wont forget so easily, " In Consensus"..

Whats with the wives nowadays. Anything and everything is pardonable. A Chand ( For those who dont know him, ex-Chief minister of Haryana who changed his name from whatever to Chand). So Mr. Moon the Goon shuttles between his first wife and a hip Fiza ( I think she gets her eyebrows done everyday. Iam noticing. Thanks to my babe pals :) ). And both of them welcome him with open arms.
(Un) Shineys wife still beleives that he was framed. Even after he confessed. Wow. So much for education. Cant you read newspapers ?

As for the Ahuja..I can remember something apt for u..
A restless eye across a weary room
A glazed look and I was on the road to ruin
The music played and played as i whirled without end
No hint, no word her honour to defend
 I will, I will she sighed to my request
And then she tossed her mane while my resolve was put to the test
Then drowned in desire, my souls on fire
I lead the way to the funeral pyre
And without a thought of the consequence
I gave in to my decadence
 One slip, and down the hole i fall
It seems to take no time at all
A momentary lapse of reason
That binds a life for life
A small regret, i won't forget,
There'll be no sleep in here tonight

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Getting to know my father !!

My uncle passed away a month back. He was an avid reader. He would read anything and everything. He spent the last 5 years of his life reading. His room unearthed a treasure of books. About 4000 of them. From Ludlums to Karl Marx, JK Rowling to Khalil Gibran. Amidst this treasure was buried a small notebook which has brought an enigma into my life. In this notebook my uncle has penned 20 pages about my father.

I have not had the fortune of seeing my father so i never thought of getting to know about him. By the time i grew up and gained senses, he was not a part of my family's lives and they had got used to live without him. The only time I used to hear about him was when old relatives dropped in and spoke about him. I grew up with a cognizance that my father was partly religious, spoke well and was well travelled. Nothing beyond that.

This notebook has changed that perception in me. The 20 pages contain excerpts of my fathers writings. I got to know that he used to write regularly. About his travels across the world, about the people he met, about his family, about his joys and sorrows. The pieces of writings i found have indicated that he had an impeccable command over english, very clear thoughts and presentations and instances which were a lesson in philosophy and good living to everybody reading them. Obviously i was curious to know where these were taken from and who has the original writings. The answer came as a pleasant surprise. My brother has them in Dubai.

Voila....!! Iam surprised at myself. How could i not even know about all this ? How is it that i never thought of getting to know him.

Well.. My holiday to Dubai has suddenly got exciting. This is one trip Iam looking forward to as i will get to know my father after 34 years......


Saturday, May 2, 2009

Outsourced !!

I happened to stumble upon this 2007 movie at the DVD shop yesterday. 

The movie is about a person in Seattle losing his job and being sent to India to train his outsourced successor. It has a story line which has been done a million times over before but the simplicity displayed here in such abundance is sure to win you over. The movie isn’t overtly sweet nor is it down-right gritty & too realistic,  it has just the right balance which makes it acceptable & enjoyable in a laidback manner.

Outsourced is a clever, sweet, and surprisingly hilarious movie that uses lighthearted humor and charm to win over just about anyone in need of a carefree movie experience. The combination of likable characters, modest humor, and a cute love story make for a purely enjoyable romantic comedy.

Enough said...definitely worth a watch..